The Fine Art of Writing Political Spam

From a Washington Post Magazine story by Menachem Wecker headlined “The Fine Art of Writing Political Spam”:

Sen. John Neely Kennedy (R-La.) wants you to know that his campaign war chest is “as dry as the heart of a haystack.” Worried about “getting beat like a garage sale couch,” the senator — currently up for reelection — has been “running back and forth like a dog at a meat factory” to find money, and is as “nervous as a cat at a waterpark.” His ally Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) notes that the state of Kennedy’s fundraising is less than stellar: The Louisiana Republican “has missed almost every single deadline so far, and leading into October, this is beyond bad news.”