From the weekly conversation between New York Times columnists Gail Collins and Bret Stephens, this week headlined “America Is Under the Gun”:

Gail Collins: Bret, did you hear that what the city billed as “the final New York City public pay telephone” was just whisked away?  Brings back memories of when I first moved to New York back in the ’80s. When I got out of the subway after work, I’d leap into a phone booth right there on the corner, slam the door shut and call my husband to come and walk me home. It was just a block! But we were so paranoid about crime back then . …

A post on theonion,com headlined”Congress Placed on Lockdown After Deranged Man Enters Senate With Gun Control Measures”:

WASHINGTON—Sending members of Congress ducking under their seats and covering their ears, the U.S. Capitol building was reportedly placed on lockdown Tuesday after a deranged man entered the Senate chamber with gun control measures.

“It was terrifying—apparently he had written up hundreds and hundreds of pages detailing his plan to enact strict measures to regulate as many guns as possible,” said Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO), who confirmed that the suspect, a middle-aged man brandishing a large manila folder, was tackled by Capitol police officers after walking onto the Senate floor and announcing he was armed with a proposal.