Last Lines of Classic Novels Rewritten for Social Distancing


By Jesse Gaynor

The Great Gatsby
“So we beat on, fists against the window, borne back ceaselessly into the house.”

Blood Meridian
“He never distances, the judge. He is going on spring break, going on spring break. He says that he will never die.”

Animal Farm
“The creatures inside looked from couch to man, and from man to couch, and from couch to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

The Catcher in the Rye
“It’s funny. Don’t ever look at Instagram. If you do, you start missing everybody.”

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
“But I reckon I got to light out for the backyard ahead of the rest, because Aunt Sally says she’s going to make me a colorful chore chart and set a daily limit on Disney+ and I can’t stand it. I been there before.”

Absalom, Absalom!
I don’t hate them he thought, staring at his roommates through the heavy Progresso air, the Ikea living room fluorescence : I don’t. I don’t! I don’t hate them! I don’t hate them!

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