From a David Von Drehlie column in the Washington Post:
Joe Diffie’s secret was a voice as pure and rich and note-perfect as any baritone in Nashville. A secret, because that wasn’t what country music fans wanted from him during his time at the top of the charts in the 1990s. They wanted a fellow with a friendly air, 30 extra beer pounds and a proud, bad mullet — Diffie rocked the worst/best mullet in the business.
Diffie had, in other words, a “Honky Tonk Attitude,” to borrow a title and a vibe from one of his toe-tapping hits. He was a “Pickup Man” — that Middle American hero whose identity begins with his truck and goes from there. (Because you can’t have a tailgate without a truck.) Some Diffie hits, such as the sci-fi novelty “Third Rock From the Sun,” were so light they evaporated before their three minutes were up, leaving only the stickiness behind. But back in the last years before the iPod changed everything, when radio was still king, Diffie made hits that played well as background music, but had hooks that sent you grabbing for the volume knob.
His death at 61 from complications of covid-19 will send country fans of a certain age back to the water tower of “John Deere Green,” back to the snugly truth that all loves are “Bigger Than the Beatles” for the people who feel them. They will remember a singer who was a friend even more than he was a star, never too proud to entertain.
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Third Rock From the Sun
She walks into Smokey’s one hip at a time
Like a broken field runner slippin’ through the line
He likes the way she looks so he calls the little wife says
“Don’t wait up for me I’ll be workin’ late tonight”
Wife hangs up the phone, bursts into tears
Calls her sister up and cries “Get over here”
Sister tells her boyfriend be back in awhile
Boyfriend wants a beer, the store is just a mile
He leaves the motor running he’ll only be a minute
His car drives away with teenagers in it
The driver tells his buddies, got one life to live
They scream into the night “Let’s get it over with”
‘Cause and effect, chain of events
All of the chaos makes perfect sense
When you’re spinning round, things come undone
Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
The kid guns the gas, the car starts to swerve
Heads for a semi truck, jumps the curb
Truck hits a Big Boy in the Shoney’s parking lot
And flies through the air takes out the bank clock
Clock strikes a light pole, transformer sparks
Lines go down, town goes dark
Waitress calls the cops, says she saw it all
Swears a giant alien has landed at the mall
Cops ring up the mayor says there’s panic in the streets
“We hate to wake you up but we can’t find the chief”
Mayor says “Use your head if he ain’t in his car
He’s hiding from his wife, down at Smokey’s Bar”
‘Cause and effect, chain of events
All of the chaos makes perfect sense
When you’re spinning round, things come undone
Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
‘Cause and effect, chain of events
All of the chaos makes perfect sense
When you’re spinning round, things come undone
Welcome to Earth 3rd rock from the Sun
—–
Honky Tonk Attitude
Well the beer’s on the bar and the smoke fills the air
And there’s a fool in every corner man I just don’t care
Tight pants, line dance, stetson hats and cowboy boots
They got a Friday night, get right, honky tonk attitude
Well the waitress never leaves you with a half-empty glass
And every girl’s on the dance floor shakin’ her… Well
It’s a two step, three step, outta step, country mood
They got a Friday night, get right, honky tonk attitude
Well now everybody knows that’s where everybody goes
Just to dance away their blues
So leave your cares behind, it’s just a state of mind
What have you got to lose
Hey bartender pour us another round,
We’re just get gettin’ started don’t shut us down
We need a slow dance, romanced, last chance rendezvous
We need a Friday night, get right, honky tonk attitude
If you’ve got a Friday night, get right, honky tonk attitude
Yeah you need a Friday night, get right, honky tonk attitude
—–
Pickup Man
Well I got my first truck, when I was three
Drove a hundred thousand miles on my knees
Hauled marbles and rocks, and thought twice before
I hauled a Barbie Doll bed for the girl next door
She tried to pay me with a kiss I began to understand
There’s just something women like about a Pickup Man
When I turned sixteen, I saved a few hundred bucks
My first car was a Pickup Truck
I was cruisin’ the town and the first girl I seen
Was Bobbie Jo Gentry, the homecoming queen
She flagged me down and climbed up in the cab, and said
“I never knew you were a Pickup Man!”
You can set my truck on fire, and roll it down a hill
And I still wouldn’t trade it for a Coupe DeVille
I’ve got an eight-foot bed that never has to be made
You know if it weren’t for trucks we wouldn’t have tailgates
I met all my wives in traffic jams
There’s just something women like about a Pickup Man
Most Friday nights I can be found
In the bed of my truck on an old chaise lounge
Backed into my spot at the drive-in show
You know a cargo light gives off a romantic glow
I never have to wait in line at the popcorn stand
‘Cause there’s something women like about a Pickup Man
You can set my truck on fire, and roll it down a hill
And I still wouldn’t trade it for a Coupe DeVille
I’ve got an eight-foot bed that never has to be made
You know if it weren’t for trucks we wouldn’t have tailgates
I met all my wives in traffic jams
There’s just something women like about a Pickup Man
A bucket of rust, or a brand new machine
Once around the block and you’ll know what I mean
You can set my truck on fire, and roll it down a hill
And I still wouldn’t trade it for a Coupe DeVille
I’ve got an eight-foot bed that never has to be made
You know if it weren’t for trucks we wouldn’t have tailgates
I met all my wives in traffic jams
There’s just something women like about a Pickup Man
Yes, there’s something women like about a Pickup Man
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