The Style Invitational asks for “events that will (not really) occur in the coming year”

This week’s Style Invitational in the Washington Post asked readers “to tell us some events that will (not really) occur in the coming year.” Some winning entries:

April 23: Focusing on players who will be seeing the most action, the Redskins draft punters in the first three rounds. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)

May 16: Concerns about covert pressure on Ukraine flare up anew when President Volodymyr Zelensky, reading from a script, calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

June 18: The Republican National Committee buys 300,000 copies of Donald Trump Jr.’s new book, “Nepotism for Dummies.” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Aug. 13: In Chillicothe, Ohio, the first recorded use occurs of a surly eighth-grader saying “Okay, millennial” to his mom. (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)

Aug. 19: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has double knee replacement surgery after spending day after day praying for the president. (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)

Sept. 15: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demands that Cleveland’s NFL team be renamed the Persons of Color. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Oct. 21: Mike Pence, accompanied by his wife, has a conference with Nancy Pelosi. (Selma Ellis, Rolling Meadows, Ill.)

Dec. 8: Trump fatally shoots a Macy’s Santa on Herald Square. But the stock market hits a new high the same day, so Republicans say that while regrettable, it’s not an impeachable offense. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

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