This week’s Style Invitational in the Washington Post asked readers “to tell us some events that will (not really) occur in the coming year.” Some winning entries:
April 23: Focusing on players who will be seeing the most action, the Redskins draft punters in the first three rounds. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
May 16: Concerns about covert pressure on Ukraine flare up anew when President Volodymyr Zelensky, reading from a script, calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
June 18: The Republican National Committee buys 300,000 copies of Donald Trump Jr.’s new book, “Nepotism for Dummies.” (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
Aug. 13: In Chillicothe, Ohio, the first recorded use occurs of a surly eighth-grader saying “Okay, millennial” to his mom. (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Va.)
Aug. 19: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has double knee replacement surgery after spending day after day praying for the president. (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio)
Sept. 15: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demands that Cleveland’s NFL team be renamed the Persons of Color. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
Oct. 21: Mike Pence, accompanied by his wife, has a conference with Nancy Pelosi. (Selma Ellis, Rolling Meadows, Ill.)
Dec. 8: Trump fatally shoots a Macy’s Santa on Herald Square. But the stock market hits a new high the same day, so Republicans say that while regrettable, it’s not an impeachable offense. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)
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