Pat Myers, the empress of the Washington Post’s Style Invitational, asked readers, “As part of our ongoing crusade to bring you the finest in misinformation, we asked for ‘fictoids’ about winter and related events.” Some winners:
Snow in the Southern Hemisphere forms on the ground and “falls” upward, which explains why penguins are white on the bottom. (Andrew Wells-Dang, Arlington, Va., a First Offender)
The Inuit have only one word for snow but 50 words for “gullible anthropologist.” (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C.)
Donald Trump’s attachment to coal dates back to the Christmas mornings of his childhood. (Bob Kruger, Rockville, Md.; Frank Mann)
Due to climate change, mushers at the 2020 Iditarod must provide their own snow. (Stephen Dudzik)
More than 14,000 gingerbread men and sugar plum fairies lost their lives in the War on Christmas. (Frank Mann)
Hollywood liberals faked the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” hockey game in an effort to bolster Jimmy Carter’s flailing presidency, filming it in the same studio they used to shoot the moon landing 11 years earlier. (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)
The first Christmas tree ornament was created by a Bavarian glass blower in 1573; minutes later, the first broken Christmas ornament was created by his cat. (Jesse Frankovich)
Tire chains were invented in the Renaissance when Queen Elizabeth I’s carriage got stuck in the snow on the way to her winter residence, and the knight escorting her took off his suit of mail and wrapped it around the wheels. (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Md.)
Ironically the popular TV weathercaster term “The White Stuff” was first coined by African-American trumpet legend Louis Armstrong.
Each November Michelin sends an eight man team to the North Pole to retread the hooves on Santa’s reindeer.
Although most famous for his leading of Santa’s Sleigh, Rudolph is a highly accomplished Cellist with the Boston Pops Orchestra.