From “Dave Barry’s Year in Review,” the December 31 cover story in the Washington Post Magazine:
June
Amazon, aka the Death Star of Retail, becomes even larger and more powerful when it announces plans to buy Whole Foods for $13.7 billion, or enough money to buy nearly four pounds of top sirloin at current Whole Foods prices.
July
In business news, Amazon purchases the state of Montana, which the retail giant plans to use, according to its press release, for “storage.”
August
In a welcome diversion toward the end of this tumultuous month, Americans are treated to a rare celestial display as the sun is totally eclipsed by a 2,000-mile-wide Amazon logo.
December
In business news, Amazon purchases the Pacific Ocean but pledges that it will remain open to the public “for the time being.”
—Dave Barry is a columnist for the Miami Herald, which published this “Year in Review” column on December 29. After the June mention of Jeff Bezos in the Washington Post Magazine version of the story, the magazine noted, as the newspaper always does, that “Amazon chief executive Jeff Bezos also owns The Washington Post.”
Speak Your Mind